Bunnified News, Commentary, Social Criticism, Bunzo Journalism

RUNNING BUN MAGAZINE - All things "bunnified," news from the rabbit multiverse, deep down in the Earth, where it's still warm.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Prelude to The Secret Voice of Rabbits



Secret Voices of Animals and Math

Hello fellow rabbit lovers and animal lovers. It looks like publication is becoming more monthly. I think that is a better solution for this busy RabbitPhotog and her sidekick, social critic Thumper S. Thompson. We're very busy watching the waves of the future, you see, and picking out which ones of them we want to embrace in this particular rabbit multiverse. Handpicked parallel multiverses, curated for you by two very different, alternative personalities required to exist today in a totally schizo world full of gross injustice, social inequality, and speciesism. Hurrah!

Incredible New Technology

I wanted to make you aware of this new technology which analyzes the brain waves of dogs and uses some pretty heavy duty math to recognize the patterns and match them up to the thought involved. That's right. Hogwash, you might say but the technology exists right now to use thoughts to command machines through a computer interface. If you didn't know that, then you are behind the times. And it's beyond the scope of this one blog post to catch you up. But it's true.

Do You Hear What I Hear? 

And now a group of Scandinavian scientists are breaking a new barrier. But here, take a look at this ***ARTICLE AND WATCH THE VIDEO*** and then come back here, and I'll tell you how, as soon as I saw it, I knew they were about to change things forever.

Back? Ok, good. Now the part of the video when I knew they were really on to something was when they showed someone holding up one of those quote bubbles next to the dog's head and the quite was, "Who are you?" 

Many times, MagicMan and I will be sitting in our backyard on our swing while we are outside with our dogs to play fetch. Our brother and sister German Shepherds don't get along so they are never out at the same time. Our old collie mix, Macintosh and boy GSD, Rocky, come out together and then the girl GSD, Jessie, and her Schipperke mate, Felix, come out together. While Rocky and Mac are out, Jessie, whose inside waiting in her crate, will protest with sad howls until it's her turn to come out. Ever since we first rescued them, we have witnessed this drama. Jessie tries to imitate human speech just like the husky, Mischka, I told you about in a previous post. Correction, I shouldn't say she tries to 'imitate' human speech. I should say she attempts to enunciate English using the inadequate (for speech) muzzle of a German Shepherd. She does manage to get the message across though. She is clearly yelling to us, "I don't love you, I don't love you," over and over. You see, dogs live in the moment and when you appear to show favor to their rival, they don't love you at that moment.

Jessie's howls of this message sound sad rather than angry. And they make me sad to hear her declaring she doesn't love me. So as I throw the highly coveted Kong ball to her brother, I call back to her as imploringly as I can, trying to appeal to her higher dog self who is less jealous, "But Jessie, I love you and I love you so much and you know I'm going to throw ball for you next as long as you want. Don't you know I love you, Jessie?" Usually, she will start whimpering a little more softly and eventually stop with the harsh declarations of, "I don't love you!" And of course, then there are the times when she is about to come out to play and is loudly howling, "I love you! I love you!" which is great,

In this same manner, I have noticed after years of listening to the happy hour howl fest which goes on around our neighborhood, that the dogs are all barking a certain number of times, each which is a symbol for a word. They are barking I sets of four successive barks, "I don't know you! I don't know you!" much of the time as people walk by or a strange dog is being walked out on the street. But they also bark to each other quite regularly because they do know their neighboring dogs quite well. And that bark is just three successive barks, "I know you! I know you!" In days gone by, we had other dogs and other neighbors and those dogs all said the same thing. That's right, they "said" the same thing.

So do you think I'm nuts? Well, fine, I really am not worried about it, especially now since the folks at "No More Woof!" are going to prove I'm right. So if you do think I'm nuts, I suggest you enjoy your last days of ignorant bliss because, as Nostradamus said, "when the animals will be heard to speak," everything changes, everything.

And, yes, I have heard rabbits speak, too. So there. But I'll tell you about that later. Happy holidays and  Happy New Year.

Tread lightly,


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